Sometimes I’m pushed to ask: Which is very important in relationships: LOVE OR UNDERSTANDING?
Love is indeed a special word (feeling) and so is ‘understanding’; or you can call it “EMPATHY” (feeling what others are feeling or putting yourself in someone shoes each time you’re dealing with them). Your parents can love you, but if they do not understand you (emotionally and mentally enoug), they may love you so deeply and you’ll still dislike them because you’ll hardly feel it. Sadly, some children get to understand how much their parents loved them only when the parents are no more. You can hear a child saying “I love my dad/mum, but…” or you can hear a parent saying “I love my children so deeply but they never seem to appreciate my efforts…especially the older ones.”
Understanding or ‘Empathy’ is very important in relationships. It’s the next thing to hold onto once it’s established that love truly exists in such a relationship. Many people today think they hate each other but if we can take off our ego and trace it down to the bottom, that which we call “HATE (opposing love)” is simply a misunderstanding. Which means, one can actually love someone, but hate them for what they don’t understand about them. For instance, if you judge a person from a distance, you can easily begin to hate or dislike him/her for what you assumed them to be, until you’re able to come close to them and make them trust you enough to open up their inner-hidden-person to you, then you may begin to like them. And a lot of people are really beautiful inside, but always protect your inner beauty, their are a lot of wolves everywhere in the world today (Prov. 4:23). Sometimes I don’t like quoting scriptures because people would expect perfection from you (Mark 10:18), but that doesn’t mean I should rejoice in my sins.
I have seen people happily married obviously out of love but painfully break up later on. And one may wonder that it was not love at the first instance then. Yes maybe, infatuation; but some after such breakage are still deeply broken because they still love and care for each other despite they’re seperated. In this case, I think it’s misunderstanding. They are yet to take time, take off their egos and learn to understand each other for how different they may be. Some may see it as being weak, but of what benefit is ‘strong’ or ‘tough’ if it brings one nothing but pain and misery.
I may go on and on writing and may even get you bore, because I love doing it… Writing. But what I’m trying to explain is: Love Grows, Without Understanding it would either remain where it is or grow shorter resulting in bitterness, anger, pain, disappointment, confusion, seperation, etc. Understanding (or call it Empathy) is beautiful; in it we find peace, forgiveness, strength, clarity and so many other gifts. With understanding, hate or dislike or other negativities can’t haunt you, because you’ll realized they are mere products of ignorance. Do not forget to carry along Understanding when heading to Love.
I hope you Understood me? (smiles), please do.
Have a Bright, Beautiful ana Peaceful Day Ahead!!